Are you Really Happy?
On April 18, 2007 my brother Tony committed suicide. A few weeks before he had visited Miami with his wife, Marianne and new baby, Antonio Capy. He was a Happy camper. Apparently, he was not being happy.
Tony, was number 4 of 12 siblings. He was my roommate for a few years when I went to high school . All the kids slept in bunk beds, in 4 different bedrooms. No one can remember exactly where everyone slept.
In my high school days, I had a paper route, besides playing sport and studying. Part of the routine was to wake up the younger boys to help me fold and bag the newspapers. Tony will help me on Thursday and Sundays when the Inserts where real big with advertisements. Tony, at first would get upset that I woke him up, but then he would settled in because our grandfather would help us deliver the paper in my dad’s new station wagon. He loved doing that with me.
I know that he always cheered and was very happy when we won our football, basketball and baseball games. In little league, I mostly won because I played with winning teams. In high school despite playing for a small private school, we held our own against the power schools in Miami.. Then I was off to college on a football scholarship.
My family moved to Honduras the same year. That was in 1969. Dad was following his dream and a business opportunity. My six brothers had the opportunity to learn and play soccer. A few years later my family moved back to the states. This time to Charlotte, NC. My father was offered a controllers position at the Charlotte Observer. The rest was history. He later became President of the Miami Herald and started el Nuevo Herald the largest Spanish Newspaper in the USA.
Most of my family was real Happy now. Tony, Miguel, Carlos, Armando, Raul and Gonzalo all became stars in High School soccer. There are some real great stories of them playing together in the same team. By the way my sisters Miriam, Elena,Theresa, Espe and Ana had their stories also. More on them in another blog.
Tony, went on to play college soccer and then played for the Charlotte Lighting professional soccer team. He also played winter indoor soccer for the Cleveland professional team. He was a star. I only got to see him play once. It was the championship game of the American Soccer League. He scored the winning goal. My whole family was screaming, yelling and very happy. Me too.
Tony was a local hero, everyone loved him. He was offered an opportunity to play with the Cosmos in NY, with Pele. It was surreal, until he tried a scissor kick playing in Cleveland and broke his knee. Life shifted to unhappy. He recouped but his professional soccer career was finished.
Over the years we would always share and go to UM and Miami Dolphin games. Gonzalo, my youngest brother also joined us. Tony would definitely get mad when one of the Miami team’s would lose. In those years the Canes and Dolphins would lose maybe one game a year. Tony did not like losing. Me either.
Then on April 18, 2007, I was in a meeting and my phone kept ringing. I finally excused myself and answered the call from my mother crying hysterically that Tony killed himself. Not a Happy experience. In a letter that he left behind he apologized, but he couldn’t take losing anymore.
Are You Being Happy? Really, look deeper. and keep breathing. Perhaps there is another space or state of Being Happy.
inhale I love you Tony, exhale I love you Tony
inhale I’m Happy, exhale you are Happy
El Happy Coach
Any questions, feel free to Contact Me.